Here’s a random thought I’ve been pondering today that has completely inclined me to write. The thought surrounds human expectations, and how various pressures could or could not play a role in reaching and/or exceeding those expectations. Let me explain.
Last week, during one of the many hours I wasted watching pre-game build up to Super Bowl Extra-Large (XL), I watched an interview with a Seattle player. That player was cornerback, Michael Boulware. Michael is in his 2nd year with the Seahawks, and his older brother Peter Boulware also plays in the NFL for the Ravens. Peter has already won the NFL Championship. He was a star at Florida State, and for the most part has been fairly successful thus far. During Michael’s interview, he discussed Peter’s success, along with his entire family’s success in various sports and career choices. He also shared his thoughts on the expectations he’s automatically encountered, not only through the sports media but with his family. As a younger brother of a NFL champion, his success (in the media’s eyes) unfortunately is dependent on whether or not he wins the Super Bowl as well. Even if Michael goes to 12 more pro bowls than Peter, ultimately he won’t be considered as successful. Even with his family, Michael has to feel a bit of pressure to live up to his brother. It’s probably certain that his family would never approach him, or expect such a high level of success. But, naturally being a competitive family – I’m sure its crossed everyone’s mind in some sort of form. The bar is high, very high, and anyone who knows Football understands how difficult it is to win the Super Bowl.
That interview has come and gone from my memory since last week, but today I was thinking about expectations that my own family has extended onto me. I instantly thought of Michael and intertwined his background with mine. It didn’t take me long to come to the realization that I’ve honestly had no immense expectations with the omission of graduating High School. Therefore, I’ve never really had any external pressure to meet or exceed certain accomplishments. My older sister, Laura, accidently ventured into family life at the age of 17. My younger brother, Lincoln, was too young to have any bearing. Neither one of my two older cousins on my Mom’s side graduated high school. My Mother, as amazing as she is, was simply a waitress at the local Italian restaurant for most of my young life. My Father, was in the military for a short while and then eventually began working in a factory building garage doors. A true blue collar warrior. Neither obtained education after high school. Neither excelled in athletics. Neither parents “raised the bar” so to speak for their children. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my parents dearly and respect them tremendously. They’ve overcome plenty in their lifetimes, and have raised wonderful kids. My Father is one of the most unselfish men I’ve ever known. My Mother’s aura embodies family and unconditional love and she’s a trip (in a good sense) to be around. But, the fact remains that I traveled through my education and athletic career without any pressure to meet or exceed a certain accomplishment.
Now, even though I didn’t sense any external influences, I still felt inexhaustible pressure. That pressure came within, internally, naturally. My approach in everything I’ve attempted or pursued has been driven by a personal motive. I’ve strived to give 100%. I have taken a blue collar approach (thanks to Ma & Pa) to athletics, and more importantly, my young career. Though I didn’t have any acclaimed expectations to meet, I approached life with pioneer-like attitude and felt completely responsible if I didn’t raise the bar myself. I still feel responsible as I lead this entrepreneur life I’ve developed. There’s no ultimate prize in site, unlike Michael, so I continue to break ground with all accomplishments since high school. Whether it be earning a scholarship, obtaining a college degree, being voted All-Conference in football, living a 1,000 miles away, starting a business, and so on – my current and future accomplishments are the Super Bowl in my family’s eyes. There’s no defining accolade I search for, so I emphatically try to be successful in a multitude of areas.
So, here’s the burning question. Is it more difficult to go through life with established expectations and feel the immense pressure that it brings? Or, is it more difficult to have zero expectations, yet pioneer your way through life without ever really knowing where the bar resides? I would never side with one or the other, because the intricacies are truly hard to fathom without fully experiencing the other side. So, it’s simply a rhetorical question for you, my audience.
See why I felt inclined to make a post? Writing is truly therapy, ahh.
